Yours for the taking.

Today’s Special.
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Old is Wonderful.

Have you ever stopped to think about what’s so very special about growing old?

Here are a few eye openers.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

15. You sing along with elevator music.

16. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

Which number is most appealing to you?

EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA.

PAM ARRIVED SAFELY IN LA: Left NZ 8pm Monday-arrived in LA at 1pm Monday…and the plane didn’t fly backwards! Had an eyeball chat with Pam and Beverly on Skype at 9pm Monday LA. Pam was very tired and they were heading for bed.

I ‘ll update as best I can with posts that follow. Ok?

Dangerous Man.

Last evening I came across these few seemingly provoking words:

‘ Fear the goat from the front, the horse from the rear, and the man from all sides.’

Is man really such a dangerous animal?????? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

BEWARE

 

Ladies beware.

A COWBOY TOMBSTONE: Here are the ‘Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life’.

Russell J. Larsen had all five inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah.

 He died not knowing that he would win the “Coolest Headstone” contest.

 

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a  job.

2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each  other – or you could end up dead like me.

Men beware.

 

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Strange Happenings.

1) If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway.

 

2) I live in my own little world but it’s okay –  they know me here.

 

3) I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it – I  immediately thought – ‘ Implants ‘!

 

4 ) I don’t do drugs anymore ’cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.

 

5) Sign in Chinese pet store:   ‘ Buy one dog – get one flea free’.

 

6) Money can’t buy happiness,  but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

 
Which one/s tickled your fancy – as we say.