1) If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway.
2) I live in my own little world but it’s okay – they know me here.
3) I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it – I immediately thought – ‘ Implants ‘!
4 ) I don’t do drugs anymore ’cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.
5) Sign in Chinese pet store: ‘ Buy one dog – get one flea free’.
6) Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Which one/s tickled your fancy – as we say.
The laugh’s on me.
At about 9am on a certain fine and sunny Saturday morning, I suddenly decided to finish mending our wooden fence in preparation for touch up painting. After driving in a few nails from our house side of the fence, I decided to walk out to the city street, up the neighbouring driveway and complete the task.
I had just driven home the final nail when I became aware that I had an audience. The sloping driveway meant that I was in full view from the street. Suddenly I was aware that every person nearby took time to have a good look at me – one even developed a very unusual laboured cough.
Suddenly it dawned on me. If I could have jumped over the fence I would have. In a flash I hurried down the driveway and back to the safety of our home. Only then did I laugh at myself. In my haste to finish repairing the fence, I forgot that I was still in my shortie pyjamas, dressing gown, and slippers.
I reckon that was a very special morning that I shall never forget.
We’re both as happy as can be.
People come into your life for a reason.
When someone comes into your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a god-send and they are.
An everlasting relationship is one that is mutual in every possible way.