BEWARE

 

Ladies beware.

A COWBOY TOMBSTONE: Here are the ‘Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life’.

Russell J. Larsen had all five inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah.

 He died not knowing that he would win the “Coolest Headstone” contest.

 

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a  job.

2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each  other – or you could end up dead like me.

Men beware.

 

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Strange Happenings.

1) If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway.

 

2) I live in my own little world but it’s okay –  they know me here.

 

3) I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it – I  immediately thought – ‘ Implants ‘!

 

4 ) I don’t do drugs anymore ’cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.

 

5) Sign in Chinese pet store:   ‘ Buy one dog – get one flea free’.

 

6) Money can’t buy happiness,  but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

 
Which one/s tickled your fancy – as we say. 

Have a laugh.

The laugh’s on me.

At about 9am on a certain fine and sunny Saturday morning, I suddenly decided to finish mending our wooden fence in preparation for touch up painting. After driving in a few nails from our house side of the fence, I decided to walk out to the city street, up the neighbouring driveway and complete the task.

I had just driven home the final nail when I became aware that I had an audience. The sloping driveway meant that I was in full view from the street. Suddenly I was aware that every person nearby took time to have a good look at me – one even developed a very unusual laboured cough.

Suddenly it dawned on me. If I could have jumped over the fence I would have. In a flash I hurried down the driveway and back to the safety of our home. Only then did I laugh at myself. In my haste to finish repairing the fence, I forgot that I was still in my shortie pyjamas, dressing gown, and slippers.

I reckon that was a very special morning that I shall never forget.

Everlasting.

People come into your life for a reason. 

When someone comes into your life for a REASON,  it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have  come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with  guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally  or spiritually. They may seem like a god-send and they are. 

An everlasting relationship is one that is mutual in every possible way.